This was not part of the plan.

Over the weekend, I randomly ended up admitting a teen who used to be one of my high school music volunteers during my days as the music therapy coordinator at an area hospital system.  I remembered her well as she was planning on being pre-med in college and during that time I had also been completing my pre-med courses at a local community college,  because I had thought that I too was going to apply to med school.  We recognized each other immediately and I am not sure who was more surprised to see the other in this particular situation.  "You're a NURSE now?" she said to me, "This was not part of your plan!"

And she's right.  She's not the only one surprised that I am a nurse.  I actually hear it all the time.  When I was contemplating applying to nursing school, other music therapists said to me "Ugh.  Why would you want to do THAT?"  The other night at work, one of the fellows asked me (after discussing the fact that I had worked as a music therapist for 7 years before becoming a nurse), "Don't you ever wonder what you got yourself into?"

And honestly, as I told her, I LOVE being a nurse.  (She then told me that I'm a good nurse, which I did think was a nice compliment, considering I am only a few months out of orientation and half the time still feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants).  I noticed right away in nursing school that I feel more at ease as a nurse than I ever did as a music therapist.  I know I was a good music therapist, but there were so many times that I just never quite felt like myself.  Being a nurse feels natural to me.  I get to interact with people, get to know them, spend time with them, and take care of them, all of which feeds my love of being with people.  And I also get to use my brain by problem solving, making suggestions for improvements when things don't seem to be working, and constantly learning about new diagnoses and medications, all of which feeds my inner nerd.  When I was a music therapist, I felt sometimes that I was missing the intimate relationship that the patient had with their nurse.  Sure, my patients liked me, but there is something different about spending one hour with a person versus spending 12 hours with them, sometimes for several days or weeks in a row.  When I used to ask my hospice kids about their experiences in the hospital, very few of them knew or remembered their doctor, but almost every one could tell me the name of their favorite nurse or nurse practitioner.  I realized then that that was who I wanted to be- the favorite nurse.

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of being paired with two teenage girls.  Other nurses on my unit teased me because they said every time they came past my rooms, I was always in one room or the other, chit-chatting with my patients.  I kept getting behind on my charting because I was spending too much time in the room with the patient.  But that, to me, was exactly what being a nurse is all about.  Encouraging people, making them feel comfortable, helping them learn about their disease and learning a thing or two from them in the process.  There is rarely a night that I think to myself "Ugh.  I just don't want to go to work tonight."  Even when I was a music therapist and for the most part enjoyed my work, there were definitely many days that I dreaded going to work.  Or days that I felt uncomfortable in my job- almost as if I was not able to be myself when I was at work.  As a nurse, I love my job.  It feels like me.  I love that there are clear expectations.  I love that when I go to work every night, there is a set list of "tasks" that need to be completed.  I love the variety of patients that I get to see, and the fact that I never know what I am walking into each night.  And most of all, I love getting to work with such amazing kids!

It makes me sad to already hear some of my nursing classmates and other new nurses already complaining about being a nurse, when we have not even been nurses for a year!  I spent a lot of time and effort thinking about becoming a nurse, exploring my options, talking to other nurses, and looking at different nursing programs, and for me, I think it paid off.  Being a nurse opens so many doors to me that were not options before.  Somehow, I think I might find myself back in management again, but with nursing, there are so many different options for management.  Right now, I love working in the intensive care unit, but should that change, there are other units to explore.  Other types of patients to see.  I can always go back to home care.  I love the opportunity for variety.  And overall, I love the peace that comes with finding a vocation that allows me to reach my full potential.